Systems

Ok real talk.

My boys have NOT learned to sit still long enough to practice reading a book. It has been a hard challenge, when I also have 3 toddlers who aren't ready yet, and who need a lot of my attention.

I know it can be easier to assume some issues with your child before placing the accountability on yourself. It's kind of the direction society is going now days. If there's something wrong with your child, no one looks towards the parents and how they discipline, teach or governed their home. Rightfully, it's none of their business, in my opinion. However it is necessary for me to look into my own home and critique how I am governing myself and my home.

Have I done all the steps?

Have I followed through every time with consequences?

Have I given in to their sweet smiles?

Have I praised them for their accomplishments in an appropriate manner?

Have I shown up 100%?

Then how can I assume there's something wrong with them until I've fixed my methods and put into place an effective system?

Here is something I've done that absolutely works for my children and may also work for your children!

Did you know children THRIVE on systems?

Children are more comfortable and willing to grow when there is a system in the home.

A system for waking up

A system for meals

A system for school

A system for health

A system for activities

A system for communication

A system for good hygiene

A system for rewards

A system for consequences

A system for bedtime

There's plenty more... the list can go on!

One thing I have been experimenting with, is the Point System.

Based on my children's willingness to work, complete tasks, help others, etc, they will earn points.

For example:

If my 8yo reads for 2 hours, he will receive 60 pts. (That's 1 point every 2 minutes.)

If he spends 4 hours reading, he will receive 120 pts.

In 5 days, reading 4 hours a day, he could receive 600 pts.

(The high numbers got them motivated, btw!)

Then, if they want to spend their points, they can choose from a list of options.

For example:

100 pts gives him 1 hour of play time on electronics/gaming (no movies or shows)

He is not allowed to rack up the points for a week and then spend them all in one day playing games for 6 hours. There is a limit to 2 hours a day. And ill tell you why.

We have a system, where our children need to spend between 4-6 hours Outside, every day.

I can explain this more In another post.

Another one of the options for spending points is to let them spend less points than electronics at 75pts- and they get to decide what the family eats for either breakfast lunch or dinner.

Which, my boys love it when they're in an authoritative role, so they're more likely to choose that option than the gaming! Which, I am 100% okay with!

When I presented them with this Large List of options for spending points, it took them no time to grab a book and ask me to set the timer!

It was nice to see my older two reading their books and watching as their younger brothers copied them. Some really good sets of books include:

Tuttle Twins Books

A Little Spot of Feelings

Book Of Tales

Later I pointed out the example they just set for their younger siblings, and gave them some praise for the wise choices.

What used to be only 10-20 minutes attention span, became 90-120 minutes with a system and no complaints! If say that was a success!